Total Drama Alpha-Leagues!
by ArcticWolfWhitestorm
Summary: 26 alphabetically-named teams go at it for a grand total of five million dollars! With a tomboy, a racist, a pyro, a cryo, a gamer, and much more, it'll take quite the formidable opponent to stand out amongst the others! Alphabet naming credit goes to Frank15.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! This is my first TDI fanfiction out of what I hope will be a lot called Total Drama Alpha-leagues!**

**NOTE: Alphabet theme is NOT mine; all rights go to Frank15 for it.**

"Welcome everybody to Total Drama Alpha-leagues!" introduced Chris McLean, standing on a dock before a somewhat different Camp. A sign saying "CAMP RIPCLAWRAORTOOTH" can be seen . "I'm your host, Chris McLean, here bringing you season 6 of Total Drama! Now as you can see here, we're on a new camp called Camp Ripclawraortooth. It used to be Camp Ripclawrazortooth, but the 'z' fell off the sign. Anyways, this season we have a batch of 26 new contestants-one for each letter of the alphabet-and our originl contestants will be our interns! Ha! Poor souls... anyways, our new competitors will also be competing for a grand total of FIVE. MILLION. DOLLARS. And-oh, looks like the first one's here now!"

A very pretty, athletic-looking tough girl with sapphire eyes, dark brown hair, and tan skin wearing a green short-sleeve jacket over a black halter top with ACDC written across it in silver letters, faded black skinny jeans, and fancy-looking green shoes with sharp heels was scowling on the first boat.

"Vanessa! Nice to meet you!" smiled Chris.

"Yeah, cool," muttered Vanessa. "Now can you stop talking to me?"

"Yeesh. Not very friendly,"

"Can it, McLean," she growled.

Chris shrugged and turned back to the camera. "Okay then... next up is Zani!"

"A kid named Zani? Like, Zany? Sounds normal."

Zani was a somewhat short African-Canadian girl with shoulder-cut fire-colored hair, yellow glasses over indigo eyes, a fire-red tank top with blue and purple flames, dark violet denim shorts, and orange sandals was the next arrival. As she got off the boat, she fiddled with the black cuffs-designed with blue flames-on her wrists and somehow pulled a lighter out of her left cuff.

"Hi!" she chirped to Vanessa.

Vanessa raised an eyebrow at the lighter. "Pyro?"

"How'd you know?" Zani exclaimed, flicking the lighter on and off suspiciously close to Chris's hair.

"DUDE! WATCH. THE. HAIR!" cried Chris, making a girly fake-slapping motion at the lighter.

"Why?" questioned Zani, head tilted. "Your hair would look on fire! Hee, hee!"

"Please don't tell me you're emo, too," moaned Vanessa.

"No! Just excited!"

"Chill out everybody, because here comes Travis!" interrupted Chris.

The next boat pulled up, with a wiry, lithe-looking boy with pure white spiked hair, brown eyes, and quite pale skin. He had on a light blue short-sleeve shirt, dark blue pants, and white snow boots.

"Hey everybody," Travis greeted. "I'm Travis-"

"We heard," snapped Vanessa.

"And I look forward to competing you," he completely ignored Vanessa's snarky comment.

"Wait a minute, I think I've seen you before!" recalled Zani. "You're Travis DeLino! The cryomaniac that froze my vintage lighter in the freezer at camp!" Zani was seething.

"How can a lighter be vintage?" Vanessa inquired.

"It just is!" Zani yelled. "You will pay for that, you jerk!"

"Oh, sorry about that," murmured Travis guiltily, scratching the back of his neck. "I had too much smuggled Red Bull that day..."

"Great," snarled Vanessa under her breath. "A pyro and a cryo. What a freak show!"

"And now we have Maverick!" announced Chris as Zani continued to throw angry comments at Travis.

The boy on the arriving boat was of average height, build, and looks, with neat brown hair, soft grey eyes, and a grey shirt with red suspenders. His pants were grey sweatpants and his shoes were red converse. All of his clothes were coated in car grease.

"Hey," he greeted, nodding towards Vanessa.

"Hello!" said Zani, taking time off of bashing Travis to greet the new competitor. "I'm Zani, that's Vanessa, and asshole over there is Travis."

"What did I do?!" exclaimed Travis, hands out in a "this is hopeless" expression.

"YOU FROZE MY LIGHTER!"

"WHEN I WAS SEVEN AND HOPPED UP ON RED BULL AND CAKE!"

"SHUT IT, BOTH OF YOU!" shouted Vanessa, startling everybody.

"Well, as interesting as this is, there are more contestants to announce!" interrupted Chris, obviously irked from being robbed of screentime. "Plus, we need the camera back on me." He gave his pure white smile.

As the bickering continued, another contestant arrived. This contestant had dirty blonde hair gelled in a neat faux hawk, sparkling hazel eyes, tan skin, and a fairly muscular Justin-like build. He was quite handsome and wore an expensive-looking white sports jacket over a black jersey, had Adidas soccer shorts on, and wore nice Reeboks.

"Okay, Randy Gunner has arrived, you can all start basking in my presence," smirked the contestant smugly.

"Dream on, pretty boy," sneered Vanessa.

"I thought 'Pretty boy' was Chris's title?" snickered Maverick, with Zani and Travis laughing along with him.

"Whatever," shrugged Randy. "I'm the most popular, athletic, handsome, and rich contestant here, so you might as well just hand me the million now. None of you could hold a candle to my awesomeness."

"Chris, is Randy your cousin?" questioned Maverick.

"I wish!" exclaimed Chris. "This kid is awesome! Narcissistic and a jerk-perfect combo!"

Vanessa groaned.

"I wouldn't be too sure about him being the most athletic and rich," came a voice belonging to the next competitor. The voice belonged to a very pretty, tan olive-skinned, athletic-looking girl with a soccer player's build and average height. The girl wore Luxuriator Style 23 sunglasses over her emerald eyes, which she promptly took off, and chestnut-colored hair in a ponytail. She wore a blue, white, and silver plaid polo shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows with a blue and white titanium necklace, black and silver lacrosse shorts, and expensive customized Osiris sneakers.

"Luxuriator, Style 23?" inquired Vanessa. "I've heard of those. Aren't they like thousands of dollars?"

"65,000 dollars, in American currency," shrugged the girl. "Anyways, I'm Dylin."

"Isn't that a boys-" began Randy.

"YES, it is a boy's name. NO, I don't know why I'm named that. MAYBE, if I'm lucky, everybody will shut up about it?"

"Sheesh," muttered Randy, who suddenly got a perverted gleam in his eyes. "You know, you're hot, I'm hot, you're rich, I'm rich, you've got a nice-"

"Bite me." Dylin walked away from Randy-after delivering a nice round-house to the kiwis.

"Point taken," squeaked Randy before falling on to the ground.

Vanessa looked intrigued at the newcomer, while Maverick looked scared and Zani was too busy setting twigs on fire and throwing them into the water to notice the skirmish that had previously happened as Travis was trying to apologize.

"And now, coming all the way from the Kalamazoo Mental Institution, weighing in at 120 pounds, and a former resident of the Chicago Juvenile Detention Center, we have Kentaro!" called Chris.

"Hoo, boy," groaned Vanessa. "Two fire- and ice-obsessed freaks, some random kid we'll probably forget about in a day-"

"-Rude!" interrupted Maverick.

"A narcissist, some random rich prick, and now a mental escapee! Will there ever be a second normal person on this show?"

"Who's the first?" smirked Dylin, which sent the others into hysterics.

"I... You... shut it!"

"AHEM!" screamed Chris, probably just wanting the camera to go back on him. "Anyways, here's Kentaro!"

Kentaro was a Japanese kid with messy skater-cut black hair, wild black eyes, a skinny frame, and wearing a red jacket with copper-colored spikes coming out of the shoulders and a white muscle shirt underneath, baggy orange pants, cuffs on his wrists-literal broken handcuffs-and, oddly enough, no shoes.

"Hey!" Kentaro shouted at the top of his lungs before hopping onto Travis and screaming, "I IZ CAP'N PANCAKE! SIRE, THE FLAMINGOES ARE ON FIRE AND THE SHERBERTS AIN'T DOIN' ANYTHING!"

"Screw my life," Vanessa muttered crossly as Travis was looking quite uncomfortable with the psychopath on his shoulders.

"Can I?" Randy's eyes lit up, delighted.

"Ew, pervert!" Dylin spat.

"Oh, come on," Randy teased. "You know you want me."

"And if you keep on talking like that to me, I'll know you want to be kicked in the coconuts."

Randy hesitated, than fell on the ground in pain to save Dylin the effort.

"OMG TTYL LMFAO OFAHYROAEIFARFAUS-TWENTY-I SEE POTATERZ!" Kentaro cried, much to the others confusion.

"Why did the institution let him leave?" whispered Zani to Chris.

"They didn't," Chris smirked back. "There's a reason his stereotype is the 'Mental Escapee'."

Zani stared wide-eyed at the psycho.

"You mean we have a living, breathing, un-cured psychopath running around our camp?" shouted Vanessa.

Kentaro walked up to Maverick and started licking his ear.

"Yes," Chris smiled sadistically.

Vanessa, Dylin, and Maverick flipped him off simultaneously, and they could tell Dylin was trying hard not to flip him off literally.

"Well, now that that's done, heeeeeere's Waldo!" announced Chris.

"Waldo" was sitting on the boat's rails, twiddling with what looked like a priceless jewel necklace. He had close-cropped neon blue hair with a fedora over it, green glasses, and was built like DJ-if DJ had been Hindu, of course. He wore a grey pinstriped vest over a dark purple golf polo with a grey tie, blue shorts, and purple Nikes.

"Chris? You do know my name is William, right?" William asked Chris as he got off.

"Well yeah, but I wanted to make a W-themed joke and it seemed to fit," Chris shrugged.

"A'right," William smiled at his competitors. "Great to meet you a-"

He was interrupted by a certain bare-footed contestant poking his thigh with a dead seagull.

"Waldo! Meet my purple chicken!" Kentaro exclaimed, waving the seagull in William's face. "His name is Jerry, and he thinks your glasses look like Doofenshmirtz!"

"Can somebody get this kid away from me?!" Wailed William, obviously uncomfortable. Vanessa and Dylin nodded and pulled Kentaro out of a fifteen-foot radius of William.

"Funny you should mention a J name, Kentaro," said Chris, "because next up we have Jaymie!"

A girl with ginger hair, hints of Hispanic heritage in her skin and expression, and freckles under lavender eyes was Jaymie. She wore a dark royal blue blouse with cat ears attached onto a hood with a beige skirt and polished black dress shoes. An aura of contempt followed her.

"Hello, everybody," she greeted, pushing away the aura. "I'm Jaymie. Pleased to meet your acquaintance, and I can't wait to verse-or work with-you in later challenges.

"Same to you," smiled Dylin.

"Should be fun!" yipped Maverick.

Vanessa had a doubtful look in her eyes.

"But before J, we have I!" Chris signaled to the next boat.

The 'I' contestant had wily light blonde hair, daring blue eyes, and three bracelets on each arm. He wore an Adidas basketball shirt and red basketball shorts and had on white Air Jordans. His skin was tan and his shoulders were slim, fitting with his basketball player-build. But what made him stand out was his entrance.

"WHAHOOO!" he shouted as he drove off the boat onto the dock on his motorcycle blind-folded. He crashed and ended up lying on the ground next to Kentaro, who decided to start fondling the new contestant's earlobe. "That was awesome! It's like a coffe and Red Bull rush! Wahoo!"

"Dude, didn't that hurt?" questioned Maverick. "What's your name, anyways?"

"I'm Ion! And of course that didn't hurt! In fact, I wanna do it again!" Ion hopped up eagerly but was soon turned to dissapontment as the boat steered off and the next one came.

The next boat carried a very beautiful, tan, and slim girl with curly light brunette hair, shining amber eyes, a red bandana around her forehead, and a cheerful expression. She wore a beige halter top that cut off at her midriff, a leather necklace, a denim mini-skirt, and brown Uggs. But it wasn't just her eager eyes, perfectly constructed face, or lithe form that got the guys staring her. It was her Lindsay-like chest.

"What are y'all staring at?" she asked, confused, with an Australian accent.

"Your-" Randy began cockily before being elbowed in gut by a certain boy-named girl.

"Shut it, perv," Dylin seethed.

"... Crap..." Randy was holding his stomach in pain.

The odd thing that Vanessa noticed, though, was Zani also staring quite intently at the beautiful Australian. She also caught the pyro smiling and blushing a bit whenever Dylin spoke. Could she be... lesbian? It was possible. But the way Zani bickered with Travis was just so... married couple-like, if that was a phrase.

"I'm Havana, pleased to meet you!" Havana chirped in her Australian-tinted voice.

"Hey," nodded Dylin, "I'm Dylin, Cap'n Sports Coat over there is Randy, ACDC is Vanessa, Lighter Girl is Zani, Freezer Burn is Travis, Gonzo is Ion, Cucko for Cocoa Puff's Kentaro, Anime Schoolgirl is Jaymie, Fedora Kid is William, and Fireman Suspenders is Maverick."

Havana looked quite confused at the nicknames Dylin assigned her fellow contestants, so Vanessa simplified it, pointing to each teen as she said their names.

"Ah, cool!" Havana smiled. "But... why are the guys staring at me like that? Do I have a pimple? Is there a wallaby attached to my leg?"

"... I don't think there are wallabies in British Columbia," said Jaymie, head tilted.

"Oh. Hm."

"And don't mind the guys," Dylin replied. "They're just a little... um, how to say this without being suggestive...obsessed with your b-odd."

"Nice save," chuckled Maverick.

"Now that that's done with, it's time for Ellis!" said Chris.

Ellis was an overweight, pale girl with bad jet-black hair, mud-brown eyes, a black shirt with THE TWILIGHT CHRONICLES written across it in read, baggy grey jeans with a picture of Edward Cullen stitched on to the pockets, a pair of black Converses, and a Twilight book in hand.

"Hey," greeted Dylin before being figuratively knocked backward. "Dude! You stink!" she held her nose.

"Richette Rich is right!" agreed Vanessa. "You smell like... month-old tuna, burning rubber and... bat pee?"

Oddly enough, nobody questioned Vanessa on how she knew what bat urine smells like.

"I'm TRYING to make Edward's signature scent!" groaned Ellis in a nasal, whiny voice.

"So Edward smells like fish, rubber, and piss," concluded Randy, an eyebrow raised.

"I... am confused," said Havana.

"We all are," pointed out Jaymie, patting her on the shoulder.

"Okay everybody, meet Luana!" Chris introduced, pointing at the next boat.

The boat held a fashionable-looking girl with dark brown hair, sunglasses over dotted black eyes, pale skin, and a bony frame. She wore a pink jacket over a lavender blouse, designer jeans, and black heels and had a purse hanging from her arm.

"Wow, some of you look really stylish!" noted Luana, nodding towards Randy, Havana, William, and Jaymie. "Others... not so much..." her eyes scanned over Dylin, Ellis, Maverick, Zani, and Kentaro.

"Oh no, I have no style, the world must be ending!" mocked Dylin, sarcasm seeping in.

"Humph!" hmphed Luana, turning away.

"Ha! So I can do something better than you!" gloated Randy to Dylin.

"Yes, you have a sense of freakin' fashion," muttered Vanessa, "want a cookie for that?"

"ACDC's right," huffed Dylin. "Plus, I can still have you crying for mommy in one kick."

"Hate to interrupt," said Chris unapologettically, "but there are other contestants that need to be introduced. Such as Oliver!"

Oliver was a slightly overweight African-Canadian with a Toronto Bluejays cap, brown eyes with burning hatred flaring up, and wearing a dark green hoodie, baggy hipster-like jeans, large green "hipster" glasses, and ruined Nikes.

"Great, a bunch of prissy li'l white folks," he muttered, contempt spiking each syllable, "and I bet one of the milkies will win ANOTHER season, because that's what this racist world wants!"

William looked confused. "Weren't the two finalists last season black?"

"Dude! Don't call us 'black people'!" spat Oliver. "That's racist! You don't see me calling you 'white people' now, do ya milk boy?"

"Well, you sort of have-there was 'white folks', 'milkies', and 'milk boy'," pointed out Dylin.

"You shut it, priveleged white girl!" argued Oliver. "The only thing that could make this worse is a stupid queer!"

Zani's eyes flared in rage as she stomped over Oliver. "YOU ASSHOLE!" she roared in a quite intimidating matter. "Just because my sexual orientation is different from yours, I'm suddenly this stupid person who doesn't belong on this camp? On this planet, even?" she took a moment. "I just admitted that I'm lesbian on reality TV, have I?"

"Yeah, but who cares? Except for maybe, Hipster McGee over there. Gotta say, I agree with the pyro," shrugged Vanessa before giving Oliver a very, very scary death glare. "Way out of bounds, even from a reverse-racist such as yourself."

"Great, a racist homophobe," sneered Randy, "only thing that could make this worse would be a PETA supporter, a feminist, and an anti-semitic jerk."

"Well don't worry, we don't have any of those!" Chris assured the popular rich kid before muttering, "For now..."

Chris cleared his voice and began, "So now we have Gabe!"

The next boat pulled up, carrying a muscular, brutish, fair-skinned boy with a square jaw, black buzz-cut, and meaty hands with a scar on the left one. But despite that, his eyes were friendly and his expression radiated kindness and welcoming. He wore an orange letterman jacket, black sweat pants, and Adidas shoes.

"Hey, I'm Gabe," he greeted, smiling. "Glad to meet you all."

Everybody greeted him, happy to see somebody with a positive personality. Well, everybody not counting a certain reverse-racist hipster and Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs (who was, by the way, sniffing a blade grass to see if smelled like UFO's).

"And now, it's Anthony!"

Anthony was a calm-looking, wiry, pale boy with neat blonde hair, sky blue eyes, and wearing a navy blue blazer over a white shirt, black pants, dress shoes, a silver necklace with a cross on it. A bible was tucked under his arm.

"Hello everybody," Anthony said politely. "I'm Anthony."

"Thanks," said Vanessa snarkily. Anthony just grinned.

"Great, a Christian freak," muttered Oliver, fixing his glasses. "You betta not try to opress me with ch'yo biblical nonsense!"

"Shut up!" snarled Dylin. "You insult white people, you insult gay people, and now you're insulting Christians? Seriously?!"

"What I'm sayin' is da troof, girl!" Oliver retorted.

As Dylin is a great people person and tries her best to communicate and reason with people before resorting to violence, she peacefully lodged her foot into Oliver's forehead.

Oliver fell backwards, cursing.

"I'm starting to like this girl," smirked Vanessa, Zani nodding in agreement.

"What can I say?" shrugged Dylin. "He's a disgrace to assholes worldwide."

"Can't argue with that logic," snickered Randy.

"I promise, I will never try to opress anybody with my beliefs," assured Anthony. "I respect all your beliefs and choices."

"Why do you remind me of Hannah, from Total Drama Battlegrounds[1] asked Travis, head cocked.

Anthony shrugged.

"Nevermind that, because now we have Yessila!" said Chris, who was unusually over-excited at the announcement-but not "Yay! A new, great contestant!" type of excitement, it was more like the sadistic "Yes! More drama and injuries!" type.

The reasoning soon became clear, because Yessila was a small, lithe girl with pink streaks in her wavy jet-black hair, lavender eyes, pale skin, and a sneer of contempt at the boy contestants. She wore a black natural-fiber tee with a neon pink girl symbol in the front, and the same symbol tattooed on her arm. She wore dark grey short-shorts and pink sandals.

"Ugh, there are probably gonna be more boys then girls on this show, as always," Yessila groaned cynically.

"Actually, I heard there are supposed to be thirteen of each-" Gabe began.

Yessila growled, cutting him off. She walked up to the marginally larger and bulkier contestant with an intimidating look that could scare off Chuck Norris. "You want to end that sentence, boy? No, you don't. I'm tired of women being pushed around and interrupted by worthless men! So just shut up!"

"Actually, you were finished with your sentence, YOU interrupted HIM," Randy pointed out.

Yessila walked towards the popular boy threateningly. "Et tu, Brute? You do not wanna mess with me! No boy will step out of line while I'm here!"

"And how will you-" Randy paused to pat Yessila's head, "ever stand up to me?" Randy patted his own head. Yessila was enraged, fuming with steam bursting out of her ears (figuratively, of course).

Yessila made a movement that triggered a certain somebody's reflexes. As she reared back to give a sharp, fast punch with her middle knuckle sticking out, she was intercepted by that person mid-punch.

"Don't. You. Dare."

"I KNEW SHE LIKED ME!" Randy gloated as everybody stared at Dylin, who was busy giving a very, VERY hard grip to Yessila's fist.

"Dream on, lover boy," Dylin snorted as she let go of the feminist's now-white hand. "But taking you down is my running gag, plus, Yessila's just annoying!"

Yessila didn't hear the comment, for from her reaction to Dylin's hand-crushing one could conclude that she could give a punch, but certainly not take one.

"Uh-huh," Randy's eyebrow was raised, and several other contestants-the sane, non-prejudice ones at least-had doubtful looks.

"Dude! My camera time!" Chris whined as the camera's view whirred to the host. "So now we have Sarah!"

Sarah was a Japanese girl with Korean flower-boy style hair, hazel eyes, and wearing a necklace that looked like Trent's lucky one, a Friday the Thirteenth Movie Premier t-shirt, burgundy pants, and black sneakers.

"Hello!" she chirped. "Good to meet you!"

"You, too," replied Maverick eagerly-suspiciously eagerly.

"Wedding bells," murmured Dylin to Vanessa.

"Like with you and Randy?" Vanessa inquired.

Dylin didn't answer.

Sarah turned to Jaymie. "You look like an-"

"An anime schoolgirl, I know," sighed Jaymie, thought more with content and admiration then annoyance. "I have a thing for manga and anime. It's practically my life!"

"Full-metal Alchemist? Black Butler? Haruhi Suzumiya? [2]"

"Yes, yes, and totally!" Jaymie smiled. "And Death Note!"

"Sounds cheerful," commented William, rolling his eyes.

"Speaking of cheerful," Chris said, "here comes Quinla!"

It must've been opposite day for Chris, because the next person to arrive was quite the opposite of cheerful. Her skin was deathly pale, her eyes dark and shadowed. Quinla's messy black hair with bloodred highlights was pulled back into a pony-tail, and she wore a black choker, black bracelets, and a dark grey t-shirt and black skinny jeans. Her crimson heels clicked on the dock as she gazed emptily at her competitors, her expression depressed.

"I see you've incorporated an emo this time around?" mused Zani as the others tried to stray away from the depressing girl.

"Well, duh!" snorted Chris as if he was just asked "Is the food here horrible?"

"Aw, she can't be too bad!" prompted Ion as he walked towards Quinla before kissing her for about a half-minute.

"Uh, gross!" exclaimed Luana.

"What can I say?" Ion grinned fake-deviously as Quinla continued to gaze into the sky. "I'm a gonzo! Everything comes on impulse!"

"And for our... like, twentieth contestant, we have Fonrol!" Chris announced.

Fonrol was also quite a pessimistic sight to behold. Dark red hair, dead lime green hair, skinny and fair-skinned, with a black hoodie, black pants, and combat boots. Nothing really special about him.

"Meh," Fonrol muttered before sitting on a nearby tree stump.

"Seems like a charmer," piped up Ellis sarcastically.

"Like you should talk about charm?" retorted Vanessa.

In all the hu-bub or whatever you would like to call it, Kentaro had found himself occupied with using squirrel tails to paint Anthony's face with mud.

"I'm sorry, Kentaro, but could you please stop?" asked Anthony politing, taking a step away from the psycho.

Kentaro shrugged and went off to start eating cattails he found by the lake.

"Okay, since we have quite surpassed our time limit," said Chris, staring down at his watch, "we'll have to introduce the rest of the contestants at once: Porter, Cole, Uni, Bailie, Xariene, and Natasha!"

Cole was literally just a younger copy of Chris. Nothing more to be said about him.

Porter was a spirited guy with light blonde hair, a bandana around his forehead, hyped up royal blue eyes, and a clarinet case by his side. He had a soccer-player build and fair skin, and wore a crimson, gold, and violet polo shirt with SBH printed on the lapel, black dress pants, and dress shoes. He easily made friends with the contestants, omit a psychopath, a quiet kid, an emo, a racist, and a feminist.

Uni arrived after those two, and wore an XBox headset over messy dusty-brown hair, a neon orange tank top with a Primeape and a Raticate [3] on it, red shorts, and blue sneakers, and had his brown eyes fixed on his PSP.

"Hey," was all he said as he sat down on the ground and continued playing.

The next contestant, Bailie, was quite pretty, and had long dirty blonde hair, shining amber eyes, and tan skin, and wore a low-cut black t-shirt with a bare left shoulder over a pink tank top, a pink pair of shorts, and yellow sandals.

"Great to see everybody!" she greeted merrily. Most were kind to her, and it was obvious that William quickly took a liking to her.

Xariene, who came after, was also kind with her, and spoke with an advanced vocabulary. She had a bit of a bubbly-cutesy look to her, with ginger hair, freckles, blue glasses with dark blue dot eyes, and a regular frame. She wore a pink sweater vest over a pinstriped electric purple short-sleeve shirt, blue jeans, and mocassins. Despite her geeky language and preppy attire, she seemed nice and quite a bit ditzy (to the annoyance of Vanessa), and managed to make Oliver pass out with boredom after giving him a lecture on the history of pi.

Everybody applauded to her after that.

And finally, the twenty-sixth contestant, was Natasha. Natasha was grouchy-looking, with straight black hair, solid grey eyes, tan skin, and a lean, boney frame that was clothed by a teal halter, white shorts, and teal sneakers.

"Gee, what competition," she muttered cynically.

"Gee, what logic," retorted Bailie. "You meet us for about thirty seconds and already decide that we're worthless."

"I agree!" exclaimed William, probably a bit louder than he had hoped. He blushed when everybody started staring at him. "What? I do!"

"'I do'," mocked Dylin, "words that we'll be hearing at you two's wedding in a couple years."

"Now that this grueling presentation ceremony is over," concluded Chris. "It's time to end the episode! We'll see you next time on Camp Tour Day-where our contestants will try out the confessional, be split into teams, and check out their cabins! Adios!"

**[1] Just a little tribute to none other than TD fanfic-making hero, TheKoboldNecromancer!**

**[2] Easily my three favorite anime/mangas. EVER. **

**[3] Carrot and Peach (Raticate and Primeape) were the name of Marriland's wedlocke duo in Pokemon HeartGold. **

**So what do you guys think? Note: This is my first ever completed written piece of fanfiction. I appreciated criticism, as long as it's not ill-advised. I'd love to know what to improve on, what I do well, etcetera. **

**Next time: Slimin' Socks and Climbin' Rocks!**


	2. Chapter 1, Part 2

**-READ THIS FIRST!-**

**Hey everybody! This is the long-waited Part 2! Just to let you know, this first challenge will not be especially interesting in the likes of adventure; it is more so an opportunity for my readers to grasp the personalities of ones who didn't get enough screentime last chapter (I focused way too much on Dylin and Vanessa, I think.)** **So although this challenge will not be as long and interesting as you might have hoped, I promise to improve on that next time. (just a little trivia: William was the first character I came up with; Jaymie was the last)**

"Welcome everybody, and we're back with Total Drama Alpha-Leagues!" announced Chris. "This episode we'll be touring the campgrounds, getting the teams, and initiating our first challenge, so it's a big day! Last time, though, we introduced our 26 alphabetically-named contestans and they seem like quite a happy bunch!" Chris chuckled, then laughed, then burst into hysterics. "Oh, who am I kidding?! I'd be surprised if they don't kill Oliver or Yessila by Episode Two! Ah ha!" Chris wiped a tear from his eye and continued. "So anyways... Uh... Lost my train of thought... CUT TO THE THEME SONG!"

-THEME SONG PLAYS-

Chris was standing inside the mess hall, where everybody had grabbed a plate of... stuff... and started chowing down. Dylin, Vanessa, Maverick, and William were sitting and talking with each other, with Randy, Luana, and Travis plopping down on the opposite side of the table. Bailey, Jaymie, and Sarah were sitting with Zani (who was, by the way, glaring at Travis with an odd look of revenge in her expression), and Sarah and Jaymie were keeping up a steady conversation on Full-Metal Alchemist. Ellis, Yessila, and Oliver were sitting, isolated, at another table. Ellis was reading Twilight (shocker) as Oliver and Yessila were eating bitterly, contempt in their eyes. Natasha was eating with Gabe, who was trying to get her to lighten up and smile a bit, with Xariene, Havana, and Porter were happily chatting (with Porter consistantly blushing at Xariene and barely realizing Havana was there), and Kentaro was nowhere to be found. Cole was spurting out Chris McLean facts at Uni, who, in return, turned up the volume on his PSP, and Quinla and Fonrol were near each other, backs turned pointedly.

"Whoa! Total Drama mess hall!" Ion shouted as he walked in with Anthony. "Awesome-sauce!"

"Yeah, it's pretty cool," Anthony smiled.

"I hope you'll enjoy your meal, everybody!" said Chris, who, suspiciously, wore his sociopathic grin.

"Chris, I think my purple sunny-side up eggs just moved, the bacon is covered in mold and I'm pretty sure one of them just BLINKED at me, and I think Chef burned the water," pointed out Dylin. She nodded towards her murky water, which was quite charred at the top.

"I didn't even know that was possible," muttered Maverick.

"The eggs, the bacon, or the water?"

"All three."

"Glad to see you're enjoying it!" concluded Chris without caring because, as we all know, he dearly cares for the welfare and health of all his campers. "Because today we will be touring the rest of the island, split up into teams, and introduce the first challenge!"

The announcement caused a loud cheering-and jeering, if you include Natasha-amongst the campers.

"Although... Where's Kentaro?"

"I saw him borrowing Ion's dirt bike," answered Porter. "He said he was gonna use it to jump off the falafel ramp in Phoenix, Alabama?"

"WHAT?!" Ion shouted. "B. R. B."

A silence erupted as the gonzo angrily stormed out the cafeteria.

"If I know that kid," said Chris, "then he'll probably get Kentaro back before I can say-"

"GOT HIM!" Ion snarled, dragging the psychopath back into the cafeteria. Kentaro was woozy and muttering things like "Mama? The Doritoes have engulfed my giblets" which, in retrospect, aren't much of a difference from his usual speech.

"Anyways," Chris continued, "meet me at the Dock of Shame in twenty! Oh, and the confessional is now open for your use!"

_Confessional_

Ion: Okay, so normally I'm a pretty chill dude, but if that psycho EVER lays a hand on Felicia again, I'll... I'll... (he stops for a minute, then stares at the camera)

Yeah, I name my dirt bike! Got a problem with that?!

Dylin: I don't think Hatchet is a fully liscensed chef. Or a fully civilized member of society.

Fonrol: Meh.

Anthony: Wow, this is pretty cool! Most of them seem alright... (he looks at the ceiling, then back to the camera)... Omit Oliver...

Oliver: Y'know, I betcha dem white kids were blabbing about how they or some other milkie was gonna win! Well, believe you me. I am going to win this time. 'Cuz unlike dem other kids, I have swag! (To prove a point, Oliver grabs a can of cologne and starts spraying it in the air before accidentally spritzing it in his eye and screaming in pain)

Vanessa: Why does it smell like Axe and tears in here?

Kentaro: (He is busy painting a portrait of a deer... on Randy's face) So like, yeah, totally, I, like, can totally like, not wait for our first, like, challenge! Oh, isn't my, like, painting so totes pretty?!

Randy: Dude. STOP. PAINTING. MY. FACE.

Kentaro: No! Bad, like, easel! Stop moving! (he sighs) You just can't find good help these days, eh?

Quinla: Why am I here, honestly? There is no point. Life is just a bottomless pit of shame, dissapointment, depression, and emptiness. At least on TDAL it'll be easier for me to get engulfed by the reality of death.

Ellis: **** Jacob...

"Okay everybody, as you all know, this is the Dock of Shame," said Chris. "Here, one of you will be voted off with no hopes of ever returning. EVER. You will be done. Adios! Hasta la vista! Ciao! C'est la vie! Mi gato comer mi pantalones del fueg-"

Dylin interrupted him, "Chris, that doesn't mean what you think it-"

"Au revoir!" Chris ended. "And it will be here that I break you up into two teams-the Rowdy Raccoons and the Foolish Ferrets. Randy, Dylin, Kentaro, Zani, Natasha, Maverick, Travis, Sarah, Jaymie, Oliver, Anthony, Havana, Luana! You guy will be the Rowdy Raccoons. Stand over there," Chris pointed to a sign on a tree with a blue raccoon. "The Foolish Ferrets will be Vanessa, Ellis, William, Gabe, Quinla, Ion, Bailie, Cole, Yessila, Xariene, Porter, Uni, Fonrol! You guys will stand by the green ferret sign!"

Everybody stood with their diabollically planned teams. Randy was still angry at Kentaro for painting on him, and was pissed off at Dylin's consistant beating of him whenever he said something she didn't like. Oliver didn't like anybody, as with Yessila, and Vanessa looked disgusted at being with the Twilight fangirl, the gamer, and the Chris wanna-be.

"You evil person," growled Dylin, her gaze flickering between Randy and Oliver.

"Thanks!" Chris flashed a grin. "That's what I'm paid for! Anyway, you should be thanking me. You ended up with your boyfriend, after all!"

"I DON'T LIKE HIM!" Dylin had to be pulled back by Travis and Sarah so she wouldn't attack the host.

"Keep tellin' yourself that," snickered Natasha.

"So anyways, teams, blah blah blah, now follow me to the cabins," Chris continued.

_Confessional_

Dylin: I DO NOT LIKE HIM!

Sarah: She so likes him.

Randy: (flexing) And the Rand-Man strikes again!

The first cabin was the Ferret's cabin. It was a rustic, simple place with several bunkbeds and a tarp sealing off the boys and the girls side. A Ferret's symbol was painted on the wood floor.

"Like it?" inquired Chris.

"It looks like something my Great Dane would construct," huffed Vanessa as she stepped on a creaking floorboard.

"I don't care what it looks like," commented Ellis, "as long as there's room to put up my shirtless Edward shrine."

"NO!" the rest of the team-even FONROL-shrieked.

"Sheesh," muttered Ellis. "Stupid Jacob fans."

"Chris, there's a rabid family of rats under that bunk," pointed out Xariene.

"Are you kidding me?!" exclaimed Cole. "THIS IS AWESOME! Chris, my man, how long did it take to construct this? Who did it? Will I have room for my hair gel so I can at least make my hair look half as great as yours?"

"I like this kid!" said Chris, clapping.

"Kiss-up," grunted William.

The second cabin was the same as the Ferret's, but with a Raccoon symbol instead.

"Chris, are you sure this place is safe?" questioned Sarah, eyebrow raised as she inspected a termite mound that somehow wound up on a dresser.

"Yes... No... Uh... None of your beeswax!" snapped Chris.

"Thanks for the assurance," muttered Natasha, arms crossed over her chest.

Suddenly, a disgusting odor wafted through the air.

"Augh!" Jaymie exclaimed, holding her nose. "It smells like Deathnote in here!"

"Heh heh," Kentaro chuckled, "silent but deadly."

His comment managed to earn disgusted glares from his teammates.

"Okay, well," Chris was tearing up and choking, "since Kentaro has quite possibly contaminated the air, thus making it inhospitable in here, we'll be meeting back at the campsite for the first challenge!

The two teams were gathered around the Dock of Shame, waiting for Chris to appear. After about twenty grueling minutes of listening to Randy brag, Ellis spurt Twilight facts, Quinla talking about death and other pessimistic subjects, and Kentaro doing some weird... stuff, Chris came.

"FINALLY!" shouted Dylin in exhaustion. "It's about time!"

"Agreed," growled Vanessa.

"Sorry about that, guys," apologized Chris (though he was quite unapologetic about it, might I add). "We had to drag some of our interns out here. They kept complaining about being forced back on to the show. I mean, can you believe that?!"

"Nooo," Natasha grumbled, deadpan.

"Anyways, here they are!"

The twenty-two original campers arrived simultaneously, most looking quite unhappy. Namely Noah, Heather, Gwen, Courtney, Duncan, Justin, and Eva. However, Duncan and Courtney soon got over their contempt as they began bickering and then, of course, fervently kissing each other, as with Gwen and Trent and Geoff and Bridgette. Katie and Noah tried to resist the urge to, though Katie gave him a quick peck on the cheek and started chatting with her BFFFL as Eva looked on in disgust. Ezekiel was cowering a bit, probably scared of the female contestant's reaction to him (and was eyeing Yessila warily), Sadie was squeeling as she conversed with Katie, and Owen was actually looking quite excited.

"Chris, why do we have to be here?" groaned Gwen, arms crossed.

"Yeah, Weird Goth Girl is right," Heather agreed. "You know what? I'm leaving after this challenge."

"Tut-tut-tut, interns," grinned Chris. "You shoulda read the fine print on your original contracts!"

Duncan, furious, walked over to the narcissist and grabbed his shirt collar. "Listen, buddy! I don't care what the freakin' fine print says, if me and Princess want off, we are GETTING off."

Chris just smirked. "Too bad, so sad."

"Duncan, I don't think you should be talking to anyone dressed like THAT," interrupted Luana. "I mean, the whole choker-skull shirt-jeans-Converse fad is so four seasons ago!"

Duncan shrugged the fashion girl off. "Don't care. All I want to do is get off this island!"

"I want HIM to get off the island," growled Yessila as she glared at Ezekiel.

"He's changed!" said Izzy, defensively.

"Yeah, right. Well listen, punk!" Yessila stomped up to the cowering sexist.

"Here we go again," muttered Vanessa.

"I will not take sexist comments from you any longer! Utter one demeaning thing, and you will regret it!" Yessila grabbed Ezekiel by the collar and, surprisingly, threw him at a tree.

"DUDE!" Dylin exclaimed to Yessila. "What is your problem? Yeah, he said some things. He didn't know better! He was just listening to his dad, he never actually met a real girl! So lay off before. I. Break. You."

Yessila didn't look miffed, but stepped down anyways.

"Okay, even though this was very entertaining," chuckled Chris, "we have a challenge to get to!"

"Yes, first challenge!" smiled Maverick.

"Uh-huh. And that challenge is... rock climbing!"

"Easy," smirked Dylin.

"In a pitch-black cave!"

"Not as easy."

"You betcha!" Chris grinned. "Anyways, the objective is, six campers from each team-three pairs of two-will be climbing and searching for either the fake sapphires or the fake emeralds on the way up. The team that collects the most of their color wins."

"How will we be able to see?" questioned Xariene.

"Ah, yes! Good question!"

"Do I get a cookie?[1]" asked Xariene, hopefully.

"No."

"Shucks."

"So as I was saying, one person from each pair will be holding a flashlight to guide them, and the remaining seven campers will be in charge of attaching the harnesses onto the climbers and to the special hooks on the ground and the wall so that if they fall, they don't come crashing on to the ground. Any questions?"

A number of hands went up.

"Good, no questions." concluded Chris. "So Total Drama Alpha-Leagues will be right back, after the break!"

"And we're back!" announced Chris, as he and the campers were standing in front of a large cave that was hidden on the side of Ripclawraortooth Mountain.

"What do you mean, 'back'?" inquired Natasha. "We just walked a quarter mile to the mountain in silence for a minute and a half after you cut to commercial."

"Okay campers, once we get into the cave, you guys have to decide who your climbers are, who's holding the flashlight for each pair, attach the harnesses and ropes, and start climbin'! You ready?"

A large amount of campers shook their heads.

"Glad to see it! Now, go!"

(ROWDY RACCOONS)

The Raccoon-based group of contestants stood together at the beginning of the cavern, the crystal wall shedding an eerie blue glow on the ground. They were discussing the climbers.

"I'm not doing it," declared Natasha. "Climbing is not my forte.[2]"

"I'll do it," chirped Dylin eagerly.

"Me too," came Randy's agreement.

"Not me," grumbled Oliver, "unless you white folks are gonna force-"

"Shut up!" exclaimed Maverick, irritated. "I'm not doing it, because I have a plan for the harnesses."

"I'd volunteer, but those harnesses TOTALLY clash with my style!" said Luana.

"Okay, I guess I'll do it," Sarah sighed. "Who else? Jaymie?"

"Sure."

"Anthony?"

"'Course."

"Travis?"

"Yeah."

"Alright then, that's six!" Sarah clapped her hands. "Dylin, Randy, you guys 'kay with being paired up with each other?"

"NO!" they screeched in unison.

"Good, I'll see to it that you are," Sarah smiled slyly, as if trying to force them together. "I'll do it with Jaymie, and I guess Anthony and Travis will go together."

"Anybody not know how to attach a harness?" questioned Dylin. Everybody raised their hand, omit Zani and Natasha. "Great. Well, Zani and Natasha will work on the harnesses, while the rest of you guys can attach the rope to the harnesses and tie it around the hooks on the ground. Make sure you tie it tight and hold on tight while you're pulling us up the first few feet. If it's too loose, we'll fall without support."

"Question-how do we attach the rope to the hooks there?" Sarah pointed towards hooks attached to the bottom of a jutting slab of rock coming from the wall.

"Just toss one end of the ro-"

"GOT IT!" shouted Maverick, holding three devices in his hand.

"Got what?"

"This." Maverick pressed the back of each device, and they lit up before jumping to a hook on the slab. They released a thin string to the bottom hook and to the harnesses from a crate in the corner, which Zani and Natasha had recently finished putting on the climbers. "That thin string can hold up to eight hundred pounds easily, and is locked on to the hooks so tight it's impossible for it to fail."

"Impressive," Zani's eyebrows were raised in admiration.

"Thanks!"

"So, let's get started," Dylin shrugged, grabbing a flashlight from the crate, as did Sarah and Travis. She immediately tucked the flashlight in a cupholder that Chris, for some reason, had attached to the climbing helmets. the other two flashlight-holders did the same.

Travis nodded eagerly. "Yeah! First challenge, commenced!" _

Zani: Okay, I sort of want to bomb the challenge just to vote out Oliver, but I can't do that... yet.

Natasha: Gee, rock climbing. What other mentally stimulating challenge will our genius host come up with next?

Randy: How hard could this be? After all, I AM Randy Gunner, and I AM paired with the hottie. (he grins excitedly) WAIT! NO! I DON'T LIKE HER! (he furiously reaches out and tries to grab the video camera, causing static)

(FOOLISH FERRETS)

Eventually, the ropes and harnesses were hooked up and Vanessa and Ion, Bailie and Porter, and Gabe and Xariene were about to climb up. William had left, due to having a supposed stomach ache.

"So," Cole nodded towards Uni, "if we lose this, should we vote off William? I mean, he's not helping us, really."

"True, but he's strong and could be useful in physical challenges," replied Uni, really not caring, as he was playing some sort of car-racing game on his PSP. "I say we vote out Yessila." Uni blurted out the last sentence quite loudly just to spite the feminist. Yessila glared and growled at the gamer but controlled her temper and didn't attack him. Ellis, though, was oblivious to everything as she was suffering from Twilight withdrawal when Zani "accidentally" set her books on fire, and was rocking with her knees to her chin in a corner muttering things like "Edward... shirtless... horny... sparkles..."

Vanessa and Ion, who was holding the flashlight, had just started to climb up. Vanessa grunted in effort, but Ion seemed to scale the jagged wall quite easily, and managed to pick up three emeralds, while Vanessa only had one.

"How are you-" Vanessa paused to grab an emerald hiding in a crevice, "so good at this?"

"I love rock climbing!" exclaimed Ion as he ran his hand over a crack to check for emeralds with little luck. "Been doing it since I was four. Though it's more fun without the harness and helmet, I must say."

Vanessa stared at the gonzo, a little puzzled.

Meanwhile, Bailie and Porter were having a litte trouble with the wall, as they seemed to have run into a perfectly flat surface when they only had two emeralds in total. Bailie thought about their predicament; they were in the middle of Ion and Gabe, so they couldn't mosey to the side without knocking them out. Eventually, she lowered herself a little bit, pulled off two cone-shaped crystals that jutted out from the wall, went back up, and slammed the tips into the flat surface. Cracks appeared, but they weren't big enough for her hand to fit in, so she kept slamming the solid tip until a good rectangular crevice formed. Bailie managed to get a good grip and pulled herself up with great effort until she reached the top of the flat surface. She found a spot in the surface that seemed to only a thick layer of rock, and repeated the tip-slamming action, finding an emerald that she almost shattered into a hundred pieces along the way. Once she scurried past the flat part, she handed the crystals down to Porter, who managed to repeat her actions.

"Phew," she muttered as she heaved herself onto a crag. "That was hard."

"Yeah," Porter agreed as he scanned the area for an emerald with his hand and eventually found one hiding behind a crystal. "Especially for me. I'm not exactly the strongest person. More of a band geek, and proud!"

Bailie giggled. "Yeah, well... I'm not really proud about what I am. Or what I used to be, more like it." She scaled another part of the wall and collected an emerald on the way.

"Whaddaya mean?"

"I used to be sort of a diva. You know, those annoying popular pricks you see at school that must have everything their way?"

"Like a female Randy? Yeah, I've met with those types of people. Well, not really met, more like 'listened to when they ordered the jocks to swirlie me'."

"Damn. That sucks. But I've been trying to extinguish the whole prima-donna stereotype from me, it's a horrible past that I don't want to relive!"

Porter smiled, but the flashlight wasn't on him, so it was futile in the darkness, as they continued to near the end of the wall.

_Confessional_

Porter: Bailie's a really nice girl! It's cool to know she's trying to change her reputation; not many divas care much about redemption.

Bailie: Wow, I can't believe I might be in love with a band geek! (Bailie widens her eyes, gasping at what she just said) No, no, I don't-ugh! God, getting over this is gonna be tough...

(WILLIAM)

_No, don't do it. _Half of his brain fought with the other half. _Do it! Do it! It's right there, it's soo easy! But what about karma? What goes around comes around? Karma, schmarma! Do you know what these ARE?_

William sighed in exasperation as he looked wistfully at the safe near Dylin's bed. Rumor had it that safe held her glasses-you know, the ones that probably cost as much as your parent's car?-but it was also finger-print sensitive and you need to press in a seven-number code on a keypad in the front to open it. Obviously, that wouldn't be a problem. He'd already faked illness and made it on the show. How hard could it be to just break into a safe, something he'd been doing his own life?

_Curse my kleptomania, _he exclaimed in his mind. With gloves on, he caressed the hinges of the safe. If he got those glasses, he could sell them and make quite a tidy profit, like he did with the ruby red, original Wizard of Oz slippers he stole and never got caught. But it could also be a complete disaster, like the famous rapper's golden chain necklace. Juvie's a tough place for an eleven-year-old with no other flaw than being a... William couldn't force himself to mentally utter the word again.

William shook his head, and made up his mind.

(ROWDY RACCOONS)

Jaymie heaved herself up onto a large crag as she scoured for sapphires. So far, she and Sarah had a meager amount of three after twenty-five whole minutes. It didn't help that neither of them had ever done any climbing like this before, but they kept themselves entertained by talking about movies and shows.

"Honestly, I've always been a fan of Anchorman," chuckled Jaymie. "It's hilarious!"

"Yep," agreed Sarah as she scoured the area with the flashlight. "Gotta love Ferre-hey, a gem!" Sarah's hand had brushed against a sapphire that was halfway embedded in the cavern walls. She tried to pull it out with futile effect.

"Here," Jaymie reach over, grabbed the sapphire, dug her admittedly long fingernails into the back, and pulled it out with ease. "Maybe it's a good thing I didn't cut these before coming here," she grinned at her purple-painted fingernails.

Sarah laughed, stepping on a jutting piece of crystal in the mixed crystal-and-rock wall to make her move up more. "Hey, we only got a couple more yards left!" Sarah nodded towards a flat, horizontal clearing she could barely make out about six yards up. Chris was sitting there by a bonfire, drinking coffee and using an intern as a footstool.

Jaymie nodded as she grabbed another sapphire. "So close!"

As they were chatting, Anthony and Travis seemed to be nearing the clearing.

"Ever done this before?" inquired Travis as he pulled himself to a new rock. He was carrying five gems under his arm; Anthony carried three, though while Travis was sweating in effort, Anthony was scaling the wall like a master.

"Not exactly," replied Anthony.

"You kiddin'? You're climbing this like some sort of... religious spider monkey with good hair!" Travis exclaimed.

"Well, I have been told that I have very luscious hair," grinned Anthony jokingly. "But spider monkey? I think that's a bit pushing it."

"Whatever you say," shrugged Travis, though that was probably a bad idea, as a gem fell out of his arm and crashed to a hundred pieces on the cavern floors. "Oops!"

Meanwhile, Dylin and Randy were already done, and they had been for the past ten minutes.

"Chris, how much longer must we stay here?" groaned Dylin. It smelled like charcoal and peppermint latte which, together, could rival Kenton's fart odor, and was damp and eerie. Not to mention Dylin had just witnessed the footstool intern had puked on Randy's shoes (which, admittedly, was quite funny) and Chef was standing in a checkered black-and-white bikini like a car race girl.

"And why is Chef wearing that?" sniggered Randy as he pointed to the degraded Hatchet.

Chef shrugged as he took several bills of money out of nowhere and started to count them. "A man's gotta eat. You gotta problem with that, fool?!"

"Uh, no-not at all, sir."

Dylin smirked.

"Anthony, Travis, glad to see you here! Porter, Bailie, you too!" Chris called.

Anthony and Travis smiled in greeting as they deposited their gems in a styrofoam box labeled RACCOONS, Porter and Bailie with the FERRETS box.

"Where are Vanessa and Ion?" asked Porter. "You'd think they'd be up by now!"

(VANESSA AND ION)

"Come on, stupid! Get me out!" snarled Vanessa. Her foot was lodged in a crevice and was tangled up in Ion's harness. Ion had been trying to be like Spiderman and, in doing so, fell behind Vanessa with his harness eventually getting caught in Vanessa's right sneaker as he fell.

"I'm trying!" Ion shouted back, though he still had a giddy look on his face from his falling adrenaline rush.

"Not hard enough! I'm not losing because you were being a retard and imitating a kid's superhero!"

"Must you use the r-word?" asked Ion innocently. "My brother's mentally challenged, and I find it offensive."

"Cool story bro, NOW GET ME OUT OF THE FREAKIN' CREVICE!" Vanessa growled hurriedly.

Ion's eyebrows furrowed as he worked to untangle his harness. "Well, I got the harness out, at least."

Vanessa rolled her eyes. "I see that, stupid. Now my foot?"

Ion tugged on the Vans that she had exchanged for her heels when she heard the first challenge would be climbing. Eventually he popped the foot out, with Vanessa almost falling backwards as a reaction.

"About time," Vanessa muttered as she raced up the wall.

"SPIDERMAN WILL BE AVENGED!" bellowed Ion as he continued the Spiderman act all the way back up the cave walls.

_Confessional_

Ion: Vanessa's a bit mean... I mean, normally I try to see the best in people, but I HATE when people use that word... "retard"...

(GABE AND XARIENE)

Gabe pulled himself up with ease that could only be rivaled by a professional. Xariene, on the other hand, was experiencing quite difficulty.

"This is a very improbable circumstance for a girl with an average stature and figure such as mine," said Xariene, with two gems tucked in her pockets. Gabe held a whopping seven in his letterman pockets.

Gabe shrugged, his mind elsewhere. "Yeah."

"What's badgering you? The only word you've uttered the whole half hour we've scampered up these treacherous walls is 'yeah'."

"Yeah." Gabe replied absentmindly.

Xariene's facepalm was loud enough to be heard by the squirrels at Camp Wawanakwa.

_Confessional_

Xariene: Gabe can put up that facade all he wants, something was bothering him.

Gabe: Yes, something was bothering me. No, I refuse to tell.

Eventually, the twelve climbers were all perched on the eerie blue cave clearing, the bonfire burning especially brightly now.

"Okay everybody, it's time to declare the winner!" Chris announced. "In first place, with the highest amount of gems, is..."

Shoulders were raised in anxiety of which team would attend the first bonfire ceremony.

"The Rowdy Raccoons, with twenty-two against the Foolish Ferrets' ninteen!"

The Rowdy Raccoons cheered loudly, while the Foolish Ferrets hung their heads in shame.

"So, Ferrets, meet you at the bonfire in ten!"

_Confessional_

Vanessa: So... we lost. ****. Oh, well, whatever. At least I know I'm not going home tonight-I mean, any sane person would vote for that Feminazi instead of me. (She writes down Yessila on a piece of paper, then puts it in the ballot)

William: I wasn't there, but I heard we lost, so... bye-bye Yessila!

Xariene: Yessila, and for once, I have nothing more to say.

Yessila: (huffing, blowing a strand of hair out of her face) William. I will get rid of these vile oppresors, no doubt about it!

Ion: Yessila, simply. I... I can't take out Vanessa, because she might be good for our team, but Yessila...

Gabe: (Is staring in to space before noticing the camera) Huh?! Oh, hi! Well uh, I'm voting for Yessila. I don't know anybody who isn't!

Fonrol: Meh.

(BONFIRE CEREMONY)

Chris stood in front of the Ferrets in the dark night with only the bonfire's bright flames to illuminate the blackness. A tray of marshmallows stood before him on a stand.

"Campers, feminists, gonzos, sadists," Chris addressed the campers. "Your first loss. And your first bonfire ceremony. Just remember, that once you leave the campgrounds, you are never allowed to come back. EVER."

Vanessa smirked. "You mean, like in the first season where you said that to Izzy and Eva yet they came back anyways?"

Chris scowled. "Don't interrupt me! So as I was saying... uh... Gah! Stop making me lose my train of thought! Anyways, for the marshmallows! First up, is Gabe!"

Gabe smiled as he received the marshmallow.

"Fonrol!"

The marshmallow bonked the speechless kid on the head.

"Ion!"

The gonzo happily caught the marshmallow before jumping up and shouting "WHOOO!" in excitement.

"Porter!"

"Bailie!"

"Xariene!"

"Uni!"

"Cole!"

"Vanessa!"

"Quinla!"

William and Yessila looked at each other worriedly.

"Ah, the final marshmallow of the night," mused Chris. "It means happiness, joy, a full belly. It also means safety. The person who will receive that safety is..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Oh, come on!" interrupted Vanessa. "Just give William his marshmallow and let us get some sleep!"

"Fine, buzzkill," muttered Chris as he tossed William the marshmallow. "Yessila, you're out."

"WHAT?! NO!" hollered Yessila as Chef came to guide her to the dock. "DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU MALE OPPRESOR! I WILL NOT LEAVE! I WILL-"

Chef, annoyed, pinched Yessila on the shoulder, causing her to faint.

"Thanks."

"So, that was our first bonfire ceremony!" concluded Chris as the campers retreated to their cabins. "And the answer to the rising question-who will be gone first-of course, Yessila is gone! But there are many things that are not answered yet. Did William steal the sunglasses? What was on Gabe's mind? Will Dylin ever admit that she wants Randy? Find all out and more on the next episode of Total... Drama... Alpha-Leagues!"

VOTES:

Porter - Yessila

Cole - Yessila

Uni - Yessila

Ellis - Zani (Not Counted)

Quinla - William

Vanessa - Yessila

Yessila - William

Fonrol - Yessila

Gabe - Yessila

William - Yessila

Xariene - Yessila

Bailie - Yessila

Ion - Yessila

Yessila: 10

William: 2

Zani: 1 (Not Counted)

[1] The cookie joke is from The Kobold Necromancer


End file.
